Something is Missing.......
I have lost something that I not only like but its something that I really love so much and need it back so badly ------- Passion
That day after chatting with Joanne and the next 2days, I have been reflecting on myself and life over here. I use to be a guy that is so passionate for something that makes my daily life very fun and enjoyable, especially when I am very near to what I am passionate for, back in Malaysia it was Beyond Fellowship, the people there and everything that contains in it.
Now, everyday from Mon to Sat I go to classes and come back, have my dinner then do revision if I have extra time then I’ll watch movies (now I am watching The Lost series season 2). On Sat I go for my guitar practice and Sun I go to church, but I just feel so lost as I don’t have any passion for anything now-------Nothing for me to look forward to. My everyday life is just like every bodies daily life. I don’t want it to be in this way, I don’t want myself not only to know what my life purposes are but also to have so much passion in it, that the fire keeps on burning non-stop.
Are my smiles and days like those people working on a 9 hr shift, waiting for their paycheck and spend their money to raise their family???? Or maybe like a student, who studies so hard everyday, get his degree, marry a good wife, have a family and ended up six foot under ground???
I certainly don’t want my life to be like that, I want my life to be feel with colors, having experiences that others don’t have, have friends that can never be forgotten and love each other so much that makes the whole world jealous. I may be an average student with average results, have ordinary look and look ordinary to everyone BUT I want to make a difference that people can see the love of God in me. I want to be MAD (Make A Difference). May God answer my prayers and that His showers of Blessings continue to flow on me, through me and to people that I come into contact with everyday.
I want to find back my lovely thing………….
That day after chatting with Joanne and the next 2days, I have been reflecting on myself and life over here. I use to be a guy that is so passionate for something that makes my daily life very fun and enjoyable, especially when I am very near to what I am passionate for, back in Malaysia it was Beyond Fellowship, the people there and everything that contains in it.
Now, everyday from Mon to Sat I go to classes and come back, have my dinner then do revision if I have extra time then I’ll watch movies (now I am watching The Lost series season 2). On Sat I go for my guitar practice and Sun I go to church, but I just feel so lost as I don’t have any passion for anything now-------Nothing for me to look forward to. My everyday life is just like every bodies daily life. I don’t want it to be in this way, I don’t want myself not only to know what my life purposes are but also to have so much passion in it, that the fire keeps on burning non-stop.
Are my smiles and days like those people working on a 9 hr shift, waiting for their paycheck and spend their money to raise their family???? Or maybe like a student, who studies so hard everyday, get his degree, marry a good wife, have a family and ended up six foot under ground???
I certainly don’t want my life to be like that, I want my life to be feel with colors, having experiences that others don’t have, have friends that can never be forgotten and love each other so much that makes the whole world jealous. I may be an average student with average results, have ordinary look and look ordinary to everyone BUT I want to make a difference that people can see the love of God in me. I want to be MAD (Make A Difference). May God answer my prayers and that His showers of Blessings continue to flow on me, through me and to people that I come into contact with everyday.
I want to find back my lovely thing………….
posted by -kHoO_7^@N- @ 1:28 PM
4 Comments:
At 19 November, 2006,
Anonymous said…
hey, dun worry, passion that fades away can be reignited.... with God's guidance and ur desire to get back the passion, i tink u'll b able to get it back. With God, all thing is possible. 'Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus.'
At 19 November, 2006,
Ev@n_Co0! said…
Ya,I totaly understand ur feelins...Bcz the same thing is happening to me over here.Doing the same thing everyday.But what i think we need to do is to feel ourself with the words of God.This might be the way God is training us like how He tained Moses in the desert.Dun rush for anything but juz uphold it in Prayers..
At 20 November, 2006,
Anonymous said…
When my mama told me about your blog i was like huh?Th i quickly rush to the compyter to read your blog.You are not losing your passion towards sumthing you are just tired,tired of being in Russia without your hengtais, your family, your close frens, and ME.Hehe~toughen up!Whr is the you that always encourage me and give me the confidence to do things?!Have you left it in Msia?!Your life is not like any others, you have a small boy (Hanson) who ask me about you every Sunday,ask your fren do they have a small boy asking about them fr Msia?Toughen up!Your passion of being a doctor to help children around the world and touch lifes around you is still in you.You knwo that you are just to tired.Hey we are always here for you.Man, im crying and i wonder whether are you?If you are that means wat i had said is true.I know you can and i believe you can.Ivan, jiayu gogo!!!!Dun make me send my sai to Russia hehe~Love you :')
At 20 November, 2006,
Anonymous said…
For a little while after you leave your comfort zone, you will likely be fascinated with all that is new to you but once routine sets in, you may give in to feelings of homesickness and all things familiar - family, friends, food... This is probably why you feel you are losing...IT! If you are confident you are walking in His Will, then you should be confident in His Love.
Back home, you may have been playing important roles in your family, your church and others may have looked up to you for support, encouragement...and now you feel you are not doing anything important. Not so really. You are there no doubt for the purpose of qualifying as a doctor but you seem to already in a short space of time have made some friends (though the friendship may lack the same 'oomph' as those back home - it's been only 2 months!!), been able to contribute your time for making music in church...something IS happening. Sometimes we want to rush things...but sometimes God intends us to BE STILL and KNOW THAT HE IS GOD! He is in control and He loves you and is watching over you. Do not be discouraged. 2Cor4:16 - ...do not lose heart...our inner nature is being renewed day by day... Sometimes God intends us to quieten down and rest in Him. He is equipping you for greater things. Your everyday life is a testimony to those around you. Let the love of God shine through you. You are definitely MAD! You just don't know it yet!! God Bless
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